Greek passed...CHECK!

So, just got back my Greek final exam, 82.5%! So, that means that I passed Greek for...well, EVER!

I think if I had taken it for a grade (I took it pass/fail, like just about everyone else did) I'd have gotten a B-.

ANYWAY, the long and short of it is that I now have passed Greek and no longer have to take any more Greek!

I spoke with a couple of the people who elected to continue on with Greek--they were also the ones that decided to take it for a letter grade, for the most part....and they are spending about 4 hours per class period on homework. Apparently participles are a BITCH! Yet one more thing I'll never know about, thank you Jesus.

"It's Bloody Brigadoon!" in Alexandria

Saturday, cold, windy, almost Advent....day after St. Andrew's Day. Perfect time for over 100 different clans, bag pipe corps, Scottish Terrier Rescue Clubs (I'm not making that up I swear to God I'm not), more bag pipes, The British Embassy, The Chief of Police, Mayor, Senators, Council-people, Kids from Eli's after school program, Police on motorcycles riding in formation, to all get together and walk about three miles. Of COURSE that's what you were thinking would go down on a random Saturday after St. Andrew's Day.

Turns out Alexandria has the World's SECOND largest Scottish parade, right behind the one held in Glasgow on the Saturday after St. Andrew's Day. There are people that fly in from NEBRASKA for this one. No, I'm not kidding. Of course, they are in NEBRASKA so just about any opportunity to get the hell outta there would seem like a grand idea I'm sure.


Holly was all amped up because there were about 40 Irish Wolf Hounds from the Alexandria Irish Wolf Hound Association (or something, I'm making the name up, but you get the idea). Apparently she has it in her head that she likes these huge dogs that poop bigger than Bella. You know the old saying, Big dog, big poops.

The worst part of the morning was the parking. We finally got everyone bundled up and out the door and down near the parade route--which goes right through the heart of downtown Alexandria--to find NO parking anywhere, at all. Whatsoever. Period. We drove around for about 20 minutes and just as I was about to come out of my skin for the fourth time with the kids asking "are we there yet" a spot opens up just about within eye sight of the parade route. GOD IS GOOD!

The second worst part about the morning was the wind. Damn, it was windy. 42 degrees facing into a stiff wind is not my idea of a good time. But, we did end up getting some candy thrown at us so it was alllll good. But at least there were a lot of bag pipes. Bloody Brigadoon.

Now, I'll have to admit that I wasn't necessarily SURPRISED at the fact that there were four or five groups of parade entrants who's only business for being in the parade was DRESSING UP IN COLONIAL COSTUMES (seriously, where do these people COME FROM, and why in the wide, wide, world of sports do they all seem to live in Alexandria?!). Honestly, I don't know why I was at ALL surprised by the appearance of several dozen people dressed up like it was 1799, but I just didn't see what the hell that had to do with being Scottish. At all. Ugh. I give up trying to understand these people. (read any of the entries below and see if YOU have a clue--if you do, let me know please).

The kids loved the parade, as did we all. I was kinda bummed out that our clan, Fraser, wasn't represented at all. I think there was one dude in a kilt with the Fraser tartan marching with the "Highland Clans of Alexandria" group, but I wasn't sure it was the Fraser tartan. Turns out there are over 30 variations of that tartan. ALSO turns out there is a tartan specifically for Episcopal Clergy. Who knew. OK, Google knew.

Overall, a great morning. I think one of my favorite moments were the guys from clan Hay. They came walking by looking like they were doing the wave yelling, HhhhhhhAAAAYYYY!" It was nice. That and the guys behind us who yelled at all the elected officials that they should lower his taxes, with his friend yelling, "Yeah, lower his taxes!" right after the initial barrage from guy #1. That was a nice touch too. Did I mention there were a lot of bag pipes?

Smarmy Old Guy Visits VTS I Get Picture

Yeah, so a couple of weeks back--for some reason that I still can't quite figure out--VTS was host to Lord Richard Harries, Baron of Pentregarth and recently retired Bishop of Oxford. He met with about 20 or so of us after lunch (we had chili and grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch that day--he didn't know quite what to make of it I think, I tried not to laugh).

He had a question for us and we spent the whole hour of his time with us discussing the three part question:

What is the theological starting point for speaking into the public domain--both specific and general starting points; and what language does one use from the pulpit, "Christ language" or public-reasoning language?

In the end I don't think we ever really answered his question straight on. However he did have some interesting points. Here is one set of logic he expounded to us...

The kingdom of God impacts directly into both our public and private lives. In fact, the kingdom of God still bears on every aspect of life and our Christian understanding...children of light and children of darkness. We are made in the image of God, but are also capable of God's "great image". We are made in the image of Christ, but also are the cruicifiers of Christ. "Love our crooked neighbors with all our crooked hearts"--W.H. Auden. I've done a poor job of paraphrasing so it makes sense...but you get the general idea.

So that was fun. In the end he was very down-to-earth, loves Reinhold Niebuhr somethin' fierce and was generally good fun. I would have enjoyed hearing him preach, bet he would have been "the whip".

Kate and Ramsey Now Merged

OK, so there are about 153 things I can say about the weekend that the two of them got married, but the one that keeps coming back to mind is: FUN! I'm not talking "Hey, I went to the museum and saw that really old sculpture, that was fun boy-howdy." No, I'm talkin', "WOW! I spent almost 3 hours throwing a football up a hill to a tire swing to see if it really is as hard as the Cialis commercial" fun.* I'm also talkin' fun like: "I've never seen someone shake their booty like that" and, "MONKEYS IN SPACE!!!" fun. Further, I'm certainly talkin' "Hey, Ben, you've been workin' out?" fun with a healthy dose of, "Hey, looky there, my cup is empty again...better get a re-fill", fun. There was a smattering of, "Eli, I swear to everything that is good and holy if you do that to you sister again...." fun (OK, that last one wasn't so much fun, especially for Bella). I'd say there was also some, "Well, look who's here!", fun; and most certainly some, "No, it is DADDY'S turn on the tire swing" fun. One of the best things was the, "Aww, I love you guys so much" fun. Unfortunately there was a dram of, "Hey, where are those fire trucks going?!" fun. But, most of all, and I mean this one. There was "Kate and Ramsey, we LOVE YOU!!!" fun. And THAT was the best fun of the whole weekend. The pictures tell the rest of the story...

*I'd like to say that the Cialis stuff must really work because Ben and I tried for about 45 minutes straight taking turns throwing the football at the tire swing with no luck. Now, we didn't have any Cialis on hand to see if once we took some if we could "get it through the hole" but I'm thinkin' our chances would have been SIGNIFICANTLY better. So, this means that "The Hanisian Experience" backs any plan where you take Cialis to a weekend-long wedding where throwing footballs though tire swings is involved. In fact, if you ever, EVER have to go to a wedding where footballs and tire swings are involved over a weekend, I'll strongly consider BUYING you some. THAT'S how strongly I feel about the whole thing.

Drake's Prayer

So, the other day in our small worship group, one of our members read us the following prayer by Sir Francis Drake, written in 1577. It is quite good so I thought I'd share it with everyone here....

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
with the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
This we ask in the name of our Captain,
Who is Jesus Christ. Amen.

...Aaaaand, we're BACK!

Alrighty then. So, a ton of stuff has happened since the last real update...we've changed seasons for example...Daylight savings time has us pitch black at 5:00 p.m. here on the East Coast...and, maybe most importantly, seminary got a bit HARD! (I knew it had to happen some time).

So, here's a quick update on the past month or so...

1. We had convocation (seminary homecoming) and that was fun. We practice "radical hospitality" here at VTS. Now I know what you are saying: "Matt, come on. That sounds like full-contact putt putt." Well, you are sorta right. Except without the putt putt or full contact part. Basically we made everyone who came back feel right at home. We had Juan Williams from NPR speak at the first of two lectures and Judy Woodruff speak at the second. Both are Episcopalians and both gave excellent talks.

2. We went back to Mt. Vernon again. Apparently several members of our family just can't get enough of that place, and the people who like to dress up in period costumes. So, we went back--just in time for the military encampment re-enactment. Imagine about 2,000 people dressing up...there were whole FAMILIES of people. Oh the humanity of it all. Take a look at the pictures. They tell the whole story.
Looks like SOMEONE had just too much fun dressing up like milk maids or something. These two were passed out asleep the whole 4 hours we were there. I think they were resting up for the "nerd herd dance" later that night. Seriously though, pretending can be hard work.








I call this one: "Cruelty to Animals". Seriously folks even the dog was a bit pissy he had to be there for this.











Yeah, so the men folk sit around the fire talking about "strategies for defeating the red coats" while the women are standing up skinning something. Seriously, I think they were butchering something. There were several HUNDRED tent scenes like this. Who knew this was something people even DID.







3. Pablo got fleas. That was a whole lot of "ewww" from us all. His ear also got all gunky again. Let me tell you how much fun it is taking a Jack Russell Terrier to the vet when said JRT wants to kill everything that isn't it. We had him in Cicero's old cat carrier crate thing. Remember in National Lampoons "Christmas Vacation" when Aunt whatever-her-name-is wraps her cat up and gives it to Clark? It was like that with a whole lot of snarling and barking involved. Fun times. No, I don't have any pictures of that to share with you.

4. Bishop Gene Robinson stopped by campus on his first day of his Sabbatical to talk to us about whatever we wanted. His lecture was quite good. Surprisingly the House of Bishops meeting the previous week didn't come up in either the lecture or the half hour of questions that followed.













5. We had mid-terms which were great. Nothing like a 2 hour Greek exam to get you ready for a week-long Fall break. Actually it went pretty well I think. I had a five page paper due on comparing and contrasting how Saints Perpetua and Antony viewed Christian life which did not go so well. For some reason I couldn't make the paper work. I turned in a paper. Not a good paper...not even a marginal paper. Good thing it is only worth 25% of the grade in our class.

Of special note is the email that our Greek TA, Mitch, sent along to us about an impromptu review session the day before the final. The subject of the email is " The LORD commands a review session". Here is the text from the email:

A reading from the Book of Seminary; chapter 3, beginning with the 1st verse:

The word of the Lord came to Mitch and said: I have heard the cry of my people, I have heard their groanings and their despair for a simpler time. You will go to my people and give them a review session on the 23rd day of the 10th month of the 2007th year of the Son of Man. You will go to my people and you will tell them the secrets of the foreign tongues and they will be filled with the spirit and will receive the gift of interpretation of tongues, that is spiritual understanding. An when they have studied they will have new understanding and they will pass.
And Mitch heard the word of the Lord and obeyed and he went to the people and scheduled a greek review session for 7pm on the 23rd day of the 10th month of the seventh year of the reign of Bush, the younger, which was the 2007th year of the Lord. He asked the people to take up their textbooks and read and come to the review session with questions.
And the people studied and they gained new understanding and all the people passed the test, for as it has been written: "you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's own people, in order that you may proclaim the mighty acts of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." (1Pet 2:9)

Amen


6. After mid-terms we had a week off...Fall Break. A week off was just what I needed. Bella was home with me on the first two days (Thursday and Friday) and I had Eli home with me on Monday through Wednesday sick with a high fever and cough. Poor little guy. He's still got the cough and we're going to the doctor tomorrow.

7. Charlie Brumbaugh came into town to run the Marine Corps Marathon. He took us out to dinner the night before so we helped him load up on carbs and protein. He finished with a great time the next day. It was so nice to see a friendly face from home.

8. Halloween came and went. The kids went as Harry Potter and The Little Mermaid. I'll let you figure out which one went as which. The went trick-or-treating around the professors' houses--an annual tradition for the seminarians that have children. We carved pumpkins. We have all our fingers. God is good. The seminary holds an All Hallows Eve service in the chapel and in the cemetery. I go to help light things on fire in the cemetery, it was pretty cool. There were over 50 people that showed up for it which was pretty sweet. Of course when ever you put a bunch of people in the cemetery, with a lot of candles, torches, etc. You either get "angry mob" ala Frankenstein, or you've got a sweet service on Halloween.

9. We said good-bye to Bunny and hello to Pumpkin. We traded Holly's car for a station wagon...again, oh the humanity. At least it isn't a minivan. I have to draw the line somewhere. Apologies to those who covet their minivans...I think it is like wearing sweaters. Some guys are sweater guys and some guys just aren't. We're just not minivan people.

10. Oh yeah, Bella had her vision checked at school. She has eyes. They work great. Just thought you'd like to know.

There were a couple more events that deserve special recognition and their own posts so I'll get to those here in a bit...the biggest one is the KATE AND RAMSEY GOT MARRIED!!! So, that one will get some special attention. Of course it will be August before I get around to writing about it.

COMING SOON! New blog updates!

READ about Kate's Wedding
SEE pictures of the awesomeness that is our Pumpkin Carving Ability
IMAGINE how amazing the updates will be once I get off my rear end and post them
TELL others how you laughed until you tinkled
VIOLENTLY proclaim your steadfast allegiance to reading this blog often
SUSPICIOUSLY bookmark this page for future reading pleasure

Thanks to both of you that read this blog on a regular basis. I appreciate it. Matthew

History Nerds UNITE! Mount Vernon Trip

OK, so yesterday we take a long anticipated trip to Mount Vernon--you know, George Washington's home. OK, George Washington was our nation's first president. Al, are you with me on this one? So far so good? OK. So, we went there--since we had nothing to do on a Sunday afternoon and it is only 15 minutes from our apartment. Actually we've been wanting to go see it since we got here...yeah, we're history nerds at heart. Did I mention that Holly is in the middle of reading the biographies of all the U.S. Presidents...in order?

So after we get there we get hit up with $38.00 for admissions. Now, I guess I've gotten a bit spoiled with all the free stuff in D.C. but $38.00 seemed a bit steep. And, that wasn't even the "go to the front of the line" gold Disney pass either...that was the "wait 35 minutes before you even go into the house line".

But, the grounds are beautiful, lots of fun things going on--like a whole tent village recreated with authentic "crafts people" selling their wares. There was one dude, had to be in his late 50's--almost Charley Hughes age--who was dressed up as a beggar...complete with real "rat in a cage". No kidding. The guy is so committed to his part that he went out and raised a rat to be comfortable in an iron-bar cage. THAT is the type of experience you get for $38.00.

They had all kinds of people who decided it would be fun to dress up in authentic period garb and parade around the grounds and do things. Here is a prime example of a couple that decided to be French foreign dignitaries who were there to see George Washington...again, I can't make this stuff up. Again, I'll make the connection to Walt Disney World...no Goofy, Daffy, Mickey, we had these two, and about 40-100 others just like them. Random guys who were playing "eligible bachelors" strolling around the grounds randomly. MY guess is that they aren't really married in real life either and are waiting for one day for a girl to tell them SHE'S always wanted to do something like that, especially with her doctoral degree in late 1700's U.S. History. Bachelor dudes...ZERO, reality...INFINITY.

There were other whole troops of guys playing solider too. That was kind of neat, I'll admit. Especially when they all got together and lowered their muskets and fired into the crowd of tourists. Seriously, they did. Sacred the living pa-doo-doo out of the kids. A day later, our daughter still just about shakes when we bring up the soldiers. FYI, muskets, not easy or fast to reload. Honestly, one guy with a MAC-11 could have taken out most of the Continental Army in the first battle. Man oh man, I'm glad the British didn't invent time travel.


Of course the wifey was there to see the gardens. Thankfully there were only about 150 acres of those to see. There was a lot of THIS going on with the kids (OK, so even I learned a thing or two about gardening--and the names of about 35 kinds of flowers, shrubs, etc.)








One of my favorite moments was when the grounds closed down (yes we were there till the bitter end--mostly because we were having such a good time--I was making fun of the costumed people for the most part). We spotted this fellow coming in to where I guess they all go to take off their "historical garments" and put on some real pants and shirts without lacey bits. Love this guy:
All in all $38.00 WELL SPENT!

Two weeks ago we went to a horse show out in the country. Took us about 1.5 hours to get there. We were all rather excited about the event. Holly had been going on and on about the horses, how much fun we'd have...we were all excited.

We climbed into the car, drove forever to get out to "Virginia Horse Country" and it was beautiful... When we got to the town where they were having the horse show we actually passed the darned thing before we knew we were past it. It was a bit small... To our surprise we found out that all the fun events like, show jumping, or people riding on horses, or competitions that involved more than one horse at a time all had happened on FRIDAY, the day before. All that was going on Saturday was the individual group judging...so the best 2-year-old horses, the best horses that are brown (OK so I made that last one up). BUT, we did get to see some of the horses close up--like when we went to get lunch and there weren't any tables at which to sit--- (because both of them were broken) so we picnicked under a shade tree right where this lady was giving her horse a bath. Well, the horse didn't want to have a bath--much like any normal two-year-old--so it pitched a fit and stepped all in this huge pile of straw and sawdust that had been mucked out of a stall. This made the lady giving the horse a bath, well, pretty pissed off at the horse. So she was scolding it, it was getting more and more agitated and in an effort to get away from the lady came about 8 feet from running right over us. I grabbed the kids and we all backed up about 20 feet not knowing what was going to happen next. Ahhh, horses.

The highlight for me, though was when this happened in the show ring. I didn't take the picture...I think Eli did. Atta-boy! It pretty much summed up our entire "horse show" experience.

Now to be fair, Holly suffered through the Boat Races...Now we're even.

When was the last time you got the honor to help vest a seminarian?

So one of the things that we've had to come to grips with as budding seminarians is that we're going to have to get our own vestments. We were informed of this in a chapel meeting a couple of weeks ago. Since then we've been doing a bunch of research on vestments (identifying what the heck they really are--example: That long black one actually has a real name. Seriously, it does), companies that make them, and being blown away at the prices. OK, so some of us were more amazed than others about the prices. But seriously. OUT OF CONTROL.

With that in mind, I'm offering a one-time experience for you all to step up to the plate (offering plate if that makes you feel better about it) to help contribute to the vestments that I'll be wearing for the next x years...or until they totally wear out.

Here's what we need...that long black thing that goes under that flowing white one that makes you look angelic. It is called a CASSOCK and they run between $180--$350 depending on the style, who makes them etc. Peep this picture. Dude looks total dork, but hey, I'm sure I'll look just the same amount of "priest-nerd". BTW, I have no idea who this guy is, but he's the one on wikipedia, so he's got THAT going for him.




The next item that goes over the top of the Cassock is called the Surplice. Now, these come in a WIDE variety of styles, from really ornate to really simple. Basically they are flowey white and make you look like angelic or "billowey" as one of our seminarians put it. Of course, he's 6'11" and 325 so just about ANYTHING he puts on makes him look "billowey". These are slightly less expensive--again depending on what style you get. I'm going for plain flowey. Nothing showy--they can come with a whole bunch of lace insets which, I think, are a bit much. Check out the picture. The guy is wearing one with the lacey frou-frou insets--and he's using incense. To me, you BETTER be using incense if you have this kind of surplice...I've never been big on smells and bells so plain white is fine by me. Approximate cost: $85--$145.


The next thing I'll need is called an alb. It is the white version of the black cassock (for the most part). Again, there are a number of options, styles, etc. that you can have with this vestment....and again, I'm going with straight forward plain white alb. The approximate cost of this vestment is between $85--$135. I've gone back to my trusty friend from the cassock picture for the shot of the alb. It also has to have a cincture--the rope belt thing. Those are cheap though, only about $25.

SO, if anyone wants to help out with the $$ of course we'd all be thankful at the Hanisian household...and the kids can have new shoes for winter and mittens too. :) Yes, I just went there.

Look at those beady eyes...Evil.

So, what the HELL is THIS?! We have an anomaly here--an ALL BLACK squirrel. Darn thing lives someplace right near our apartment. When I first told Holly about it she didn't belive me. But NOW who is crazy?! HUH?! WHO?!

I'm thinking about setting some squirrel traps out in the yard to trap it so we can sacrifice it in the pale moon light on Halloween. Apparently we have a special service that the seminarians do on All Hallows Eve in the seminary cemetery...

I'll let you all know how it goes. Personally, I'm not sure I'm pro-squirrel anyway. One less all-black (read: evil) rodent in the world might not be a bad thing. Hey, if this whole Man-of-God thing doesn't work out there might be a promising career for me in rodent removal and sacrifice.

Who knows.

Idiots

OK, so now I'm all pissed off. We have 136,003 cable channels apparently, and NONE of them are showing the Bengals/Browns game. I'm stuck with either the Steelers/Bills (who the hell cares, neither team is even going to make it to the play-offs--and NO STEELER FAN, they AREN'T so get used to the idea now!) OR, I can watch the Packers/NY Giants game. What in the wide wide world of sports is going on here people!?!

With that out of the way, we had an interesting spiritual adventure last week going to St. Paul's K Street. SPKS (too much to type out) is an Anglican Episcopal church in the center of D.C., about 1/4 of a mile from The White House. They have Mass. Seriously, it is Mass. Smells and Bells everywhere. We sat about half way back and came out smelling like we hang our clothes in an incense-factory closet (...um, or something, you get the idea here people). St. Paul's came recommended to us by one of our seminarian neighbors who said, "If you want to see how 'high church' is done, check this place out." So we did...felt a little out of place. I'm not used to genuflecting every time you enter/exit a pew, crossing yourself every time someone says the name "Jesus", and chanting the entire service. Luckily the words were in English and not Latin. That and we didn't pray to The Virgin Mary and/or The Pope or The Queen--other than that it was pretty much like a Roman Catholic High Mass. The priest, who is English, said the Eucharist facing the altar, not the congregation, and we were invited to either receive the host in our hands or on our tongues. Yes, Dane Cook's Eucharist skit did go through my head (A "Jee-zit", I love it!). If you haven't seen that, go peep it on YouTube... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEHK2LiYLOI

The one thing that got me was the number of worship bulletins we received: one for the service specific to that Sunday, another for the sung part of the Eucharist, another that had the collects and several of the service music chants and another that had the readings...ALONG WITH having to use the Prayer Book and The Hymnal, it was quite confusing. Made me wish for the good old days at Redeemer with one 8-page bulletin and a Hymnal as the main sources of information.

I will give St. Paul's THIS, however--of all the churches we've ever visited...and this includes any churches we've ever attended for any amount of time, St. Paul's wins the prize for the most welcoming! As soon as our rear ends hit the pew we were invited by the greeter who came and tracked us down to join them for coffee hour after the service...several of the parishioners at the peace went out of their way to greet us and welcome us, and a couple of Sunday School teachers came over after the service, introduced themselves and, since they saw we had children, wondered if we'd like them to escort them to the proper classroom if we were going to stay for coffee hour. At a service where there were easily 150+ people, it was very nice to have been invited into the goings on that Sunday. So that was really nice.

I've been thinking a lot about a major decision coming up here in a couple of months--what church to select for my Field Education. Basically, it boils down to this--I have to pick a church that I'm going to spend my Middler year with (12 hours a week) learning everything I can about, well...EVERYTHING. I'm taking a class now that is giving me several dozen ways to look at and evaluate types and kinds of churches, various styles of ministry, etc. etc. so that I can make this important decision. Do I go with a church that is much larger than what I'm used to, a smaller Family-Sized church, one that is waaaaay different from the "low church" ecumenical style we're going to learn at VTS? Hmmm..

Stupid Bengals. Losing 20-14 to THE BROWNS?! Ugh.

Good thing I'm stuck with the stupid Steelers. Hatred.

Smells, Bells, and at least three kinds of Hells

Well, it has been a while since I updated the old blog, so I figured it was time to bring everyone up to speed on things here in Alexandria...so here goes:

First, everyone in our family is doing OK. We've all sort of gotten used to the routine of having 75% of us in school. Even the dog has gotten used to napping about 12 hours a day (yeah, rough life).

Over the past couple of weeks there have been some significant events in which we have participated. Mostly, however, these are about what I'm doing since I'm the one writing this blog and I'm pretty self-centered. (The truth can set you free...and hurt you.)

So, two weeks ago our Junior class got on a bus bound for Catholic University of America's campus in D.C. to go to the Washington Theological Consortium's kickoff event--a 45 minute prayer service followed by dinner at one of the seminaries on CUA's campus. What happens when you put 45 seminary nerds on a bus for any length of time? Camp songs, that's what. Yes, I said it--camp songs. Then, since we have a couple of seminarians from the deep south it turned into southern rock songs...which then progressed to songs that you know if you've lived in either Alabama or Mississippi. This lead to an ever decreasing number of singers (thank you Jesus).

So we get there and head to the chapel--we were the last ones to get there due to traffic, so the only seats left were--you guessed it--right up front. Sweet. There were about 200 new seminarians there all wondering why in the world we HAD to be there....did I mention that the chapel isn't air conditioned? Yeah, so it is about 120-degrees, we're all sweaty from trying to get to the chapel quickly and packed in like sardines. Great. I was rather interested in what the preacher had to say--he's our New Testament professor, John Yieh--has more degrees than I have fingers (he, along with 10 other smarty-pants did a 10-year-long study of "Q" and pretty much wrote THE work on the subject...amongst other things). 28 minutes into his dissertation I wondered if he would wrap it up before I died of dehydration. Luckily, he did, we peaced it on out of there and went to dinner...with the seminarians from St. Jehosaphat's. Ukrainian Orthodox.

That is a whole other story for another time. It was good, however. Learned lots. Have to wrap this post up for now...Bengals are on in a couple of minutes and I can't wait to watch them destroy the Cleve-burg whoever they are.

So today we went to the National Museum of Natural History, you know, where they have the dinosaurs, the Hope Diamond, the Tiffany Diamond and like every single mineral and/or crystal known to man. Let me just say it was freakin' AWESOME! 300+ dinosaurs, about eleventy gajillion other fossils... it RULED. We kept on saying that Logan and Vince (two of Eli's best friends from the old neighborhood) would have LOVED being there. Heck, I loved being there. Here is a picture from the second floor looking down on one of the main dino exhibits. So cool that all of the museums here, which are mostly parts of the Smithsonian, are all totally free. I think we spent a whopping $8.75 for all of us to ride the Metro (another D.C. thing that rocks the hizzy) there and back. Great afternoon was had by all.

Several of you have written asking what in the world is a day in the life like here for Holly, me, and the kids. Well you asked for it, here it is:

6:30 a.m. Drag rear end out of bed, make coffee (after thanking God for coffee--REAL coffee--not that crap that used to masquerade as coffee at Robert Half--I'm still in therapy after that sludge) try to stealthfully shower to not wake up the kids. Realize that the kids have been up for about 45 minutes prior to our alarm going off.

7:00 a.m. Get tired of the dog staring at me...glancing at the door, stare back at me. Put on enough clothes so that if encounter the neighbors they don't freak. Take the dog out (that is going to be a whole other blog entry so I'll leave the joys of Pablo for another time). Holly and kids are up. Kids are attempting to eat breakfast.

7:05 a.m. Remind kids for the 15th time to EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!

7:30 a.m. Holly and Eli leave for the day--Holly drops him off at the YMCA for a swim camp which he digs, then she's off to work.

7:45 a.m. After checking online what gourmet delight the refectory will have prepared for lunch for that day, Bip and I are off to the seminary. She goes to the Butterfly House which is conveniently on the seminary's campus. In the car on the way over we debate such topics as: "Do Care Bears cry when they get their hair cut" and/or, "will we park the car near the chapel and walk to the Butterfly House, OR will we park near the Butterfly House so we don't have to walk so far" and/or, "do we think that squirrels like living in trees with leaves or trees with needles more" and/or "the economic impact of The Trinity on non-Christian countries in the Middle East who have more than half their GNP coming from the production and/or refinement of petrol and petroleum related products." OK so I made one of those up. Seriously, I am curious though on Bella's thoughts about the preference squirrels have on where they live. I bet she has a couple of stellar thoughts on the subject.

8:10 a.m. Morning Prayer. On Wednesday and other feast days we have Eucharist and a sermon. Been astonished at how great the preaching is here from the faculty. So, that's good.

9:15--11:45 a.m. Greek. Taught by a guy that had his GOEs (Graduate Ordination Exams for all of us that don't know what the heck those are all about) with my dad way back in the day on Long Island. Actually, the guy is pretty cool. His passion is Greek and it shows. We had our first REAL quiz on Wednesday so I'm anxious to find out how I did...personally, I think I made that quiz my bee-otch, but we'll know more tomorrow (Monday at around 9:20 a.m.)

11:45--12:45 p.m. Lunch. The whole community gets together once a day for a shared meal in the refectory. EVERYONE is there...from the Dean down to the maintenance crews. Great time to meet new people (the mode we're all in now since, well, just about everyone IS new to us) complain about Greek class to everyone that's taking Hebrew (and listen to the Hebrew students complain about Hebrew to us), and chill for a while. The food is pretty good. Of course if you ask the "on-hill" people (those who live in the dorms on campus) they say that the food is pretty average. I guess since I only have to eat ONE meal a day there I'm not quite so jaded to the whole thing. But there is usually some variety and they ALWAYS have a nice salad bar as an option.

1:00--2:30 p.m. LTG1 which is code for Oral Interpretation of Scripture. Which is affectionately known as "Read and Bleed". Basically we go learn how to read The Word more effectively. That takes the form of us saying Morning Prayer again in a group of 4 students with an instructor. We've taken turns with one person leading and reading the Psalm appointed for the day, one person reading the OT, one the Epistle and one the Gospel. After we read through once we are evaluated both by our peers and the instructor then have to get up and read the whole reading again. Lovely. Hence: Read and Bleed.

2:30--4:30 p.m. I'm in the Library, in one of the common lounges or somewhere doing Greek homework, reading my lesson for Read and Bleed, or just chillin' with my homies. You know how I roll.

4:30 p.m Retrieve Bella from the Butterfly House then go get Mr. Man from YMCA camp, go home and start dinner. Pour myself a nice G&T (substitute beer, wine, anything alcoholic) and try to follow a recipe from "Anyone Can Cook This!" or some such book. Usually it is some dish that involves doing more than one thing at a time...and we all know how THAT goes.

6:30 p.m. Holly comes home and "fixes" whatever I've tried to make for dinner. We all eat together, kids are "reminded" to eat their dinner--or some horrible thing will befall them like "no treats for the rest of the time we're in seminary, I MEAN IT." or "if you don't eat everything on your plate now you won't get to watch TV until you are 19, do you understand me?" You get the idea.

7:15 p.m. Kids get a bath. THAT'S another whole other blog entry. Ugh. After they are dried off and dressed I head back over to VTS until around 8:45 to finish Greek homework.

Yeah, so that's that. Here's another picture from the museum...
T-Rex was a pretty big bad ass if you ask me. Andy Gruber, this one's for you man.

So, that's about it for this week. I have another couple of thoughts but I'll save them for their own special unique entries into the blog. Here's a teaser though--I've got a solid rant brewing about why driving in this freaking town is some of the worst I've ever been exposed to in my life. Seriously, they all drive worse than ME here. Be afraid, be very VERY afraid!

Peace!

P.S. If you see my dad, please remind him that he is now really, REALLY old. Happy Birthday Dad! Look, 60 isn't that old...if you're Scotch....or dirt....or a moon rock.

Backpacks, Grills and Greek

So, this weekend we went to our local Target to get a couple of things (read: we had a list of 6 things and bought 23 things....like normal). A special note of interest about our Target is that is CHARGES FOR PARKING in their parking lot if you stay more than 2 hours. Never seen that before.

One of the things that, after a week of carrying around my briefcase and hating life, I needed to get was a backpack. Just a regular old, nothing fancy, hold my books and a pencil, backpack--preferably black. Holy Cow (said Harry Carry-tone. See this site for some more special Harry Carry noises: http://www.powermaxconsulting.com/HarrySounds.htm) Anyway, I was surprised at how backpacks have changed since last I had one--back in 1992. There are things like cell phone pouches, mesh pockets for water bottles, and on my new backpack a "media pocket" that is specifically designed to fit either an ipod or CD player. Neat. Also, backpacks have become hella expensive! BUT, that is a topic for another rant in another posting.

The other thing that we purchased that we truly needed was a small charcoal grill. Our wonderful apartment complex doesn't allow propane on premise anywhere. What the propane industry did to the owners of our apartment complex to warrant such a total ban is beyond me. Personally, I think that propane is a wonderful cooking fuel, acceptable substitute for diesel in city buses, fuel for forklifts, etc. BUT....I digress. (and I couldn't think of any more common uses for propane. Peep this website for some additional uses that I couldn't think of http://www.npga.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=817 The National Propane Gas Association or NPGA for short I guess)

OK, back to the action... Now when I say small, I mean 14" across small. The good news about that is that it is really portable and doesn't use much charcoal. The bad news is that is USES CHARCOAL. Having had a monstrosity of a gas grill at our house in Cincinnati (which rocked by the way), it was a step back in grilling evolution to go to briquettes. It was like picking up a piece of paper, a pen, finding a stamp and envelope and actually WRITING someone a LETTER *gasp!*

At Target they have the regular charcoal, not the matchlight kind. I remember from a previous decade (the last time I had a charcoal grill) that lighter fluid infused charcoal was a modern miracle....a modern miracle that Target didn't have. So I looked around and found these new inventions from Kingsford (the same people that brought us matchlight charcoal mind you) that replace traditional lighter fluid. "Sweet!" I thought. Fast forward--yeah, those don't work. At all. BUT the grill does. I will say this: even though it is a pain in the rear end to get the charcoal up and running it DOES taste better than cooking on a propane gas grill.

So to answer a couple of questions that I know are just about to burst from everyone reading this blog: 1) YES, I still have my eyebrows. 2) NO, nothing else at our apartment complex has caught on fire from my grilling (emphasis on "from my grilling") 3) YES, I have lit other things on fire in the grill aside from charcoal and meat.

Sub-plot-story: I made the statement at one of our tables in the Refectory at lunch on Wednesday that charcoal grilling tasted better than gas-grilled meat and started world war three amongst about 5 of my fellow seminarians. Much the same way you can start a brawl at just about any gathering of strangers by blurting out, "Skyline Chili is HORRIBLE!"

OK so the second part of this entry is about Greek. I decided to take Greek after much deliberation, thought, prayer, and flipping of coins. One of the powerful arguments to take Hebrew (my other choice in biblical languages I could take) came from a fellow seminarian who is a year ahead of me. She said, "Matthew, you have to take Hebrew, it is the language in which God first spoke to God's creation." OK, that was something I hadn't thought of.

But, in the end I chose Greek and it has gone, for at least the first week, VERY well. This is due in part to our professor who is both challenging and gentle with us as we all learn this new language. We had a quiz on Friday and I think I did very well. One thing that makes me laugh is that our TA, Mitch, is the largest human being I have ever met. Seriously. Andrew Parlin looks like a little girl next to this guy. Yes, that is a big statement for any of you that know Andrew Parlin, but it is a true statement. 6'11" 325 pounds. And, much like Mr. Parlin, one of the nicest people I've had the blessing to know.

OK, I'm off to the grocery store. Holly has trusted me to do the shopping this week. We're trying to find a grocery store we like--so far, nothing great. But I remain hopeful that TODAY is the day we find the store we'll go to for the next 3 years. It will also be one of the last times Holly lets me go to the grocery store unsupervised. Like Lowe's and Home Depot before it, I'm confident that Giant Grocery Stores will be on the "Needs Parental Supervision" list for me.

More about THAT later. Our love to you all.

Some Episcopal Church Trivia

So, I was thinking the other day, I wonder what does all the stuff on the Episcopal Church's flag and shield mean--these are the types of questions that randomly pop into my head as a budding seminarian. Other questions like, wouldn't it be uber sweet to jump into a vat of the filling that they use for the Maple and Brown Sugar Pop Tarts? also occur, but I'll get into those on a separate posting I'm sure. Much the way my brother Ben goes on a diatribe about the sweetness of Big Wheels on his blog. Which, by the way, Ben, are hella sweet. No denying the truth.

So, through the modern miracle of the Internet (you know, the one that Al Gore created), I was able to find out a whole ton of stuff. Mostly that the flag has its roots in the Diocese of Long Island. Apparently there was this guy, one William Baldwin, who decided that the church should have a flag--this was in like 1918-ish. He realized that there was no flag for the church when he was on some committee to help the Diocese celebrate its 50th anniversary. The committee he was on was tasked with having some big whoop-dee-doo of a procession with lots of flags--ones for the archdeconries (yes that is a real word, go look it up), the various cathedral ministries, etc. Well, old Billy Baldwin noticed that there wasn't a flag for The Church....

S0000, fast forward to the General Convention of 1940--in Kansas City, BTW for those of you scoring at home, he presented a mock up and it was accepted along with oh, the Prayer Book. Pretty good amount of stuff at that General Convention got decided.

Here's what everything stands for, in good ole Billy Bob's words: "The red cross is the oldest Christian symbol dating back to the third century. The white represents purity and the red the blood of the martyrs. The blue is ecclesiastical blue, light in color, and used in the clothing of the Blessed Virgin Mary and on this flag represents the human nature of our Lord which He got from His virgin mother. The nine cross-crosslets or Jerusalem crosses represent the nine dioceses that convened in Philadelphia in 1789 when the Constitution of the Protestant Episcopal Church was adopted with its House of Bishops and House of Clerical and Lay Deputies and the Book of Common Prayer. The nine cross-crosslets are set in the form of a St. Andrew's cross in memory of the fact that, to avoid swearing allegiance to the British Crown, Bishop-elect Samuel Seabury of Connecticut had to go to Scotland to be consecrated by Scottish bishops."

The original version is hanging the the undercroft of the Cathedral on Long Island, a copy of the original one, presented at the General Convention in Kansas City is at the Washington National Cathedral right here in The District--you know that's what people who live in D.C. call it, because we are so cool-like-that. Oh wait, good thing we live in Alexandria so we don't have to sound all, well, like that.

So, now whenever someone comes up to you on the street and says, "For 500 pesos, tell me what do all the components of The Episcopal Church's flag mean." You can answer with glee and pride in your heart, and collect your $45.45. Don't say I never gave ya nothin'.

If you want the whole story--in a lot better detail than what I've got above, peep this web page:
http://www.allstates-flag.com/fotw/flags/rel-epis.html#stgeorge

So there.

Yeah, so we went to "the races"

OK, for those of you who have never lived in the Chesapeake Bay area, what I am about to reveal might come as a surprise. Heck, it did me... BUT, apparently, what people here do to "race" involves boats--motor boats. Now, I'm thinking that NASCAR just didn't get this far north so people needed an outlet for all that "Hey, Y'all, watch me do THIS!" and an excuse to crack open a couple dozen cold ones to the smell of something burning and/or excessive amounts of exhaust fumes.

So we read online that they are going to have hydroplane races at this place named Kent Island at the Kent Island Yacht Club. "SWWWWEEEET" you are thinking--much as I did, and Eli said out loud when I asked him if he wanted to go. Naturally, Holly agreed to go--albeit grudgingly. Kent Island sits between Annapolis (the home of sailing, in this continent at least) and the rest of Maryland. About 45 minutes away. So, we load up the kids and head out...everything was fine until we hit construction before we get onto the main road out of D.C.--US50. That sucked. Who the hell does construction work during the day on a SATURDAY?!

Fast forward to getting there...eventually. It was about 167 degrees in the sun, 152 degrees in the shade--with 80% humidity. So, we park the car--the directions were accurate enough from the website which explained that we parked "under the bridge" and reminded us on every page of the site in bold all caps "NO COOLERS ALLOWED". These should have been signs for me right then, but I was too hopped up on the thought of seeing some boats going 120 MPH into a crowd of on lookers that I totally ignored those two little details.

Park the car...good so far. Get on the waiting yellow school bus (getting more shady by the minute). You know things are going to get interesting when people getting onto the bus have one or more of the following items: camo folding camp chairs with the words "Deer Slayer" embroidered on the holding pouch....hats with collections of pins some of which have things like the confederate flag crossed with the black MIA flag, in combination with enameled frogs, hogs, foxes wearing neck ties, fireworks exploding, beer steins clanking, and "I'd rather be working" x'd out....buzz cuts on all children in the family...young men proudly wearing their "clean 'beater" on account of it being a special occasion...you get the idea.

Now all of that ran head-long into the other and vastly opposing camp--the people that actually belong to the Kent Island Yacht Club...who, were also present in droves. We rode out with a guy and his grandson. The guy had on faded red khaki shorts with embroidered Maryland Blue Crabs on them and some sort of "sailing sunglasses". I think his grandson's name was Trent, or Chip, or something like that.

So, two worlds that do not ever intentionally join forces collided with as much civility and politeness each side could muster. Things did get a little tense now and again, but for the most part everyone looked at everyone else and thought, "Glad I'm not wearing THAT."

We sat in the stands to watch the first preliminary qualifying heat and by the time that was over with I was pretty much drenched. The kids looked like they had just been on a 3 mile sprint--red cheeked and sweating like mad. These were the smaller, older boats...the ones that only went 90 MPH.














So I liked the fact that they made the guys at least wear safety helmets. This boat came in last place, and was the local favorite. I think Holly liked it because it was "pretty". Either way, um...they still lost. But they didn't give up without a fight. I was impressed at the way the boats looked like they were just about to wipe out...
So the day progressed and we left all sunburned, full of bad food, sweaty and tired. But we saw a boat race, damnit. And it was fun. (repeat until believed!).










Here is another couple of pictures from the day...there were many kinds of hydroplane boats...who knew.



Some, like this boat had fancy-schmancy sponsors like Penzoil, and Rock Star Energy Drink...This yellow boat lost too. I guess being pretty and winning are mutually exclusive in the world of semi-professional powerboat racing.

Notes on the Move from The Nati to Alexan-drizzle

So as my first post, I figured I should let you all know how the heck we really got here in the first place. Below are some of my musings on the move out, and the first couple of days.

Notes from Move to Alexandria, VA

Rained the entire 3+ hours it took me to pack both of the vehicles. Only to find out that we had about four suitcases too many that could physically fit into both cars. Sooo...sent Holly out to Wal-Mart at 11:30 in the pouring rain to find a solution (see next point below).

· Spending $60 on a water proof luggage rack is annoying, especially when it refuses to rain, the entire trip.

· The top speed of a fully loaded Land Rover is inversely proportionate to the distance between it and the front bumper of an 18-wheeler going up a steep hill.

· Pab lo can sleep in the car in at least 5 states…and can manage to whine just about all the way through 3 of them.

· We left Cincinnati at 6:47 AM and arrived in Alexandria at 4:50 PM

· Lunch was provided by our fantastic ex-neighbors whom we miss a ton already. Holly REEEAALLLY liked it.

· Somewhere in central Maryland, I hit something that left a 7 3/8 inch impact smear on the windshield. I think I hit a bat.

· Around 9:50 AM I hit a sparrow crossing I-71N. Felt badly about it, but it was the third bird I’d hit in as many days. Like who the hell hits birds with the car? EVER. Is that a bad omen?

· See if you can guess which of the three vehicles displayed the following bumper sticker: “A bad day at the Dog Show is better than the best day at the office.” Was it: A) Subaru Forrester, B) Audi Station wagon, or C) Beat down, rust colored full-sized conversion van…from ARKANSAS? If you answered anything but C, please hit yourself with a brick.

· What is up with grandparents on motorcycles? Seriously, we saw no fewer than 6 separate packs of them…all with their custom gold accented motorcycles towing some sort of small trailer on the back, the riders (man in the front driving, woman riding in back smiling at cars) all had those big headset things on so they could talk to one another. I thought one of the reasons people got motorcycles was to NOT have to talk to people on long distance trips. Old people on motorcycles. Who knew?

· Coke Zero. WHO KNEW? (speaking of who knew?)

It It cost $5.49 for a 12 pack of Diet Coke here in Alexandria. At the supermarket.

· Total cost for gas for the trip: Land Rover $149.51 (missed it by THAT much). For the Audi: $123.

· It can take a grown man, who has done it before, over 10 minutes to put together a two-screen DVD player for the car—which on ly required plugging in two cords. Made especially annoying by the fact I had to pee like a race horse at the time.

· Packed my belts in boxes the movers took on Friday…remembered that on Sunday morning before going to church. Grrrreeeaat.

· Found a great little Chinese food place that is better than First Wok but not as good as China Gourmet--$60 for four people, but we did have enough left overs for lunch the next day so it all evens out.

· What is more fun than moving your whole family to Alexandria?! MOVING WITH PINK EYE! Yup, I said it. PINK EYE.

NOTES FROM DAY 2: Sunday, July 29

· Discovered that we have nothing for heating up Chinese food from night before for lunch today. Shocker. Didn’t even think about things like that when we packed everything up…again, shocker.

· Have gone to “Giant” food store, which could fit inside the meat department of the Anderson Township Kroger. It is the largest food store in the immediate area, so we’ll make do. We keep on thinking that there is a better place, but we haven’t found it yet. Yes, we are food snobs. Have you SEEN ME lately. Sheesh.

· Went to church today at Christ Church in Alexandria, the home parish of people like Robert E. Lee and George Washington…managed not to color on the kneelers. There was a baptism. One of the kids was named Beck. All I could think about when they said his name was “two turntables and a microphone”. Oh well. Poor kid. I hope his hair is permanently a mess like his namesake.

· Kate and Ramsey—saw something as we parked the car outside the church that made us miss you guys so much….but was funny as hell:

· Pablo has gone damned near 72 hours without peeing on carpeting. I’m so proud.

· Oh yeah, went to church today sans belt. It is the type of place where people would notice that you didn’t have the proper blazer buttons. Spotted a dude with the name tag “Pepper” and a guy with a pink sear sucker suit with a bright pink striped tie. I can’t make this shit up. I think it was Chris Fait’s “grandpa” or something.

· What, in an emergency drinking situation, will open a wine bottle if you have no opener? How ‘bout a 4” long lag screw and some pliers. Yup. 60% of the time it works every time.

· Speaking of other things we forgot…on our second trip to Giant we remembered that we didn’t have anything for dinner, or a way to heat up the leftovers for lunch from the Chinese place. After returning home I thought of about 4 other things we should have bought. They are going to get to know us in a hurry there.

· Oh yeah…speaking of the Giant. Pulled up on trip number one and in the parking space in front of us was a black Toyota Camry with a Cincinnati Bengals license plate holder. There was also a gay equality sign on the back bumper. Who knew that Fait had cousins out in D.C.?

· We are all getting used to sitting on the floor with no furniture. So far no one has spilled anything, even me with a plastic red cup full of red wine. Tempting fate? You betcha.

· OK, so I can now say I’ve driven in another major city. Turns out we are no more than 7 minutes from the National Monument. That would be an obelisk for those of you scoring at Robert Half. So I got a bit confused a couple of times and we kept on passing the Lincoln Memorial—like 6 times. Reference “look kids! Big Ben, Parliament…!” Yeah, it was JUST like that.

· Washington D.C. is laid out very logically, there are cross streets—ALLEGEDLY—that are in alphabetical order, criss-crossed by streets that are either numbers or States. There is a system there apparently but my Indiana University education did not prepare me for that. We got lost. A lot.

· People at our local Blockbuster are very into strange hairstyles. I want to get a picture with the store manager, Debbie, who took a liking to us. She has the best Female Wrestler (circa 1987) She-Mullet I have ever seen. Her lovely assistant, Mary, has next to no hair—buzzcut. Bergmann, you’d dig her except she isn’t in her 60’s.

· Holly was very proud of herself—she was able to get to the store and back all without getting lost. Now mind you she’s been in the car the previous four times we’ve gone…and it is only .25 miles away—you can practically SEE IT from our apartment. Right, a subtle swerve and right into the shopping center. I am ordering her a medal once we get our Internet hooked up tomorrow.